Monday, 3 August 2015

How to get a Terrible Nights Sleep: A Step by Step Guide

Here's my step by step guide on how to ensure you get an utterly terrible nights sleep;

1) Have a baby
2) Become so sleep deprived that your body clock goes wappy (yes it's a word) that when the baby is sound asleep you can't sleep for love nor money. 
3) Become reliant on coffee to function
4) Be so full of caffeine you can't sleep
5) Lie in bed for hours tossing and turning
6) Check all social media accounts while lying in bed
7) Check the time every 5 minutes
8) Ensure your partner is on his 'snoring side' or breathing right in your face
9) Make sure you are either too hot or too cold, preferably both within 10 minutes
10) Eat dinner late so you are uncomfortably full in bed
11) Make mental lists of things you must do just before you go to bed
12) Have a nap late in the afternoon because you are so exhausted

To ensure maximum results do all of the above on the same day.