Monday, 29 June 2015

A Day in the Life of Mummy

Jimmy cheerfully came home from work one day and asked me "what have you done today?" I smiled trying to resist the urge to rip his face off. I said "can I suggest that you re-phrase that question to, how was your day?" I felt his initial question was accusing as if to suggest I've been sat on my arse all day watching Jeremy Kyle. Well buddy, those days are long gone! (as I am writing this I must admit Jezza is on on the background, hangs head in shame!)

I know my hormones are all over the place and I was probably being oversensitive but this question stayed in my mind. I just kept thinking that he has no idea what my day to day life is like and what did he want? Did he want me to list every single thing that I had done that day? So that's exactly what I did. Jake was 3 months old when I wrote this post.

07:45 - 08:10 
Jake wakes up, I put on his Nemo mobile, realise I have a horrible headache. I let the cat in, she is soaked. After laughing at her I towel her off and feed her. I put a load of washing on and clean the kitchen. 

08:12 - 08:30 
I warm Jake's bottle, make a coffee, feel guilty that Jake is happily chatting away on his own, put BBC news on, fetch the baby, change his bum and cover him in Epaderm for his eczema. Fish bogies out of Jake's nose.

08:30 - 09:10 
Feed baby, stop the cat drinking my coffee, continue to feed the baby. Wind Jake and wrestling him while cleaning his face singing the clean our face song. "This is the way we clean our face, clean our face, clean our face, this is the way we clean our face, early in the moooorning." I know what you are thinking I should defo go on BGT!

08:55 - 09:10 
Get post, microwave coffee, shove fruit and fibre in my face, drink all my coffee (victory dance), search for paracetamol only to find there is none. Consider taking calpol but have a flash forward to Jake being ill and not having any left. 

09:10 - 09:30
Play with the baby in his doughnut ring thingywhatsit, practice his sitting and standing up. Try to make the baby laugh, fail.

Feel mortified when workmen turn up to fix the window and I'm in my nightie covered in sick. I grab my dressing gown, which is also covered in sick. Realise that the house looks like a bombsite. Offer the workmen a cup of tea to try to gauge how long they are going to be. They say no thanks, we will only be a couple of minutes. I hope they are right. Thank god that the workmen only take 10 minutes. Curse Jimmy for not reminding me they were coming. 

09:30 - 09:50
Play with baby he's still not laughing at me. Try desperately to come up with fresh material. 

09:50 - 10:10
Pop to the loo while the cat watches me and tries to sit on my knee. I feel guilty that she has been a bit neglected recently. Put whingy baby in front of In The Night Garden. Iggle Piggle gets lots of smiles from Jake, I hate that blue bastard whats he got that I haven't? Clear radiators of previous washing, throw it on the chest of draws to be sorted later. Hang washing on radiators, swear at the rain. Put 2nd lot of washing on.

10:10 - 10:25
Change baby and put him down for a nap, kick the cat off the bed and out of the bedroom. She doesn't look too impressed, poor thing. She's still a bit damp from earlier. 

10:25 - 10:45 
Turn this...

In to this...

Tidy up, hoover living room, hall and stairs. Clean downstairs loo.

10:45 - 11:00
Tidy bathroom, shower and wash hair. Realise that the cat is watching me. Freak out about the amount of hair that I am loosing! Hear baby wake up and chatter.

11:00 - 11:30
Brush teeth, try to dry hair while entertaining baby. Jake's having none of it! He starts to scream. Briefly abandon hair drying to sort out bottle for when I am done. Return to drying hair but Jake is now really going for it. Feed the baby soaking wet in towel. Wind baby, wipe sick off my arm. 

11:30 - 12:05
Pop baby on his play gym while I dry my hair and get dressed. Cuddle whingy baby, give him some grip water, get sicked on, lots. Sit baby on the sofa and sing songs, get a few smiles from Jake. 

12:05 - 12:30
Grab a banana, sit baby in doughnut and play grab the toy. Change baby's bum and clothes. Go to change my sick covered top. Realised it has dried and don't bother.  

12:55 - 14:00 
Put baby down for a nap, put out washing. Make and eat sandwich. Check Facebook and my bank balance, laugh at all my debt. Load dishwasher, realise we have run out of dishwasher tablets. Unload dishwasher and wash up, swearing. Settle baby back to sleep, twice. Dismantle the 2 Moses basket stands that I asked Jimmy to do 4 days ago.

Soak bottles, dry and put away pots. Make coffee, eat 2 biscuits. Take one mouthful of coffee. Baby wakes up. Distract hungry, grumpy baby by tickling his face with my hair and singing daft made up songs about what I am doing, while the bottle warms up.

14:20 - 14:40
Feed baby one handed while shoving biscuits in mouth with the other hand. Wind baby. Confuse him by whistling. 

14:40 - 15:00
Change baby's bum. Play row row row your boat. Bay chucks up everywhere. Put baby on play gym to digest his milk.

15:00 - 15:00
Wash, sterilise and make up bottles, yes, I make up 6 at once, don't judge me! Practise rolling over with Jake, we don't get very far. Play with bubbles.

15:50 - 17:40
Jimmy comes home. I put Jake down for a nap. Say to Jimmy that he's timed that well. Microwave coffee from 14:00, drink coffee and eat biscuits. Jake wakes up. Feed and wind baby, he spits in my face. Jimmy sicks some stuff in the loft. I think he felt guilty that I had done 'his job'.

17:40 - 18:30
Make dinner while replying to messages and checking Facebook. Eat dinner.

Jimmy goes to the shop to get dishwasher tabs. I try to keep the baby awake by blowing bubbles, reading stories and playing with toys. Jimmy feeds Jake.

19:30 - 19:45

19:45 - 19:50
Load dishwasher, clean kitchen and tidy away toys. Tell Jimmy off for letting the baby fall asleep while having his bottle. Change baby.

19:50 - 20:50
Try to get Jake to bed, go to the loo where I have another audience with the cat, ffs! Finally get Jake to sleep. Consider having a G&T but settle for a Vimto.

20:50 -21:30
Zone out in front of TV.

21:30 - 21:45
Settle baby back to sleep.

21:45 - 22:20
Watch TV and make a mental list of things that need doing tomorrow Online grocery shop, take baby to be weighed, sort tax credit form, clean upstairs, put away 3 lots of washing.

Go to bed.

02:30 - 3:30
Feed and change baby and settle back to sleep. Lay in bed wide awake.

Check time and curse that I've been laid awake for an hour.

So there you have it, my day. Feel free to show this to your other half when they ask "what have you done today?" Sure I don't always need to do 2 loads of washing or dismantle furniture but the rest is pretty much a standard day. No wonder we need a bottle glass of wine on a Friday night!

What does your other half say or do that drives you crazy? Let me know it's not just me that has to deal with daft questions!

The List
Brilliant blog posts on


  1. Love it - I wrote something called "perceptions" listing everything I do in a day... did you think it helped to write it down? #TheList (@MummyFever) can't seem to comment with my website here :(

    1. Hi Charlotte, I'll have to pop over to your blog and have a look. I'm nosey about what people get up to in their daily lives! I think it did help to get it down. It made me realise why I'm so tired all the time lol. I've been sprucing up my website recently so I'll add getting a comment box with website link on my to do list :D x

  2. Love this especially the part about the blue bastard I have a similar relationship with the the twirly woos! Don't worry I'm not judging about the bottles I've done all three of my kids like this and non of them are dead.......probably because I did it this way there's no way I could cope with making up a bottle at 2 am. #brilliantblogposts

    1. Thanks Zoe, I'll have to investigate the Twirly Woos, might get me another 5 minutes peace! I'm glad I'm not the only one who doesn't go by all the the rules and guidelines out there. I can't imagine making them up one at a time with a screaming child on your hip! Madness! x